||[Dec. 27th, 2007|10:00 pm]
I'm not sure if I mentioned, but we somehow lost Ben's "Little Tiger" (his official name). Truth be told, I think I may have tossed him into the give-away bag accidentally. :( That was a hectic week...Joaquin's lice, painting, almost moving...I feel awful. He's had such a hard time with it. |
He's had it since birth. He used to scrub the ribbon w/ one hand and suck his thumb with the other when he was a baby. He gets up at night and comes out w/ watery eyes and tells me how much he misses little tiger. How he "used to talk to him at night". How he "knows all my secrets". It's heartbreaking. He says that a new one just wouldn't be the same. God, it's awful. He says he thinks he's ready though to find something new..but "it will take a lot of snuggling so it will smell right". My eyes are tearing up right now thinking of him & his sweet little heart.
He was so excited for the Christmas party we hosted with our friends. He had all of these grand plans to do crafts. He got all the stickers, cutters, papers & glue ready. When the boys got here though, they didn't want anything to do with crafts. Ben was pretty hurt, he came up to me & sat on my lap and whispered..."noone wants to do crafts with me and they just keep ignoring me when I show them all the cool stuff I got out". They all ended up playing outside with the snow and that was the last I heard of it for the night.
I thought he had forgotten about it, but just today he came into the kitchen while I was making breakfast and said with tears welled up in his eyes..."I guess some kids just don't like the same things as I do...like crafts and stuff". I swear this kid just tugs at me. I mean on one hand, he is like...typical boy. VERY VERY outdoorsy...creating boobie traps...playing in mud...and on the other hand, he loves his music, crafting, cries much more frequently than the "typical" boy...and is has the most tender heart of anyone I know.
I fear that this dichotomy of his personality will lead him to heartache...never quite fitting in. It's such a fine line trying to raise unique children without them being outcasts.