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(no subject) [Dec. 30th, 2007|09:58 pm]

steve and ben went up for a drive together yesterday. just the 2 of them. it's so good to have 1 on 1 time with the boys. they're so different when they're alone. almost more grown-up? definately easier to handle. ;) i can't quite pin-point it.

we went to see The Water Horse this evening. it was a great great GREAT improvement over last week's alvin & the chipmunks. good gawd that movie sucked. the water horse however...beautiful.

ben loved it. there were a few scenes where he just grabbed my arm and cried into it. i don't ever remember being as emotional about a movie when i was a kid as he is. or maybe i was and just don't remember it. i love him so much. i love who he is...like, not just ben my son. but the actual personality that ben is. i always feel soo lucky that i know him. seriously.

i look at that photo above of him & steve and i just want to cry. i look at his long legs & his missing teeth and his beautiful skin and can't believe that he's growing up so quickly.

i think about times when he quietly climbs into bed with me and he just stares at me and strokes my hair. or softly kisses my cheeks when he thinks i'm still asleep.

as i'm lying in bed and i go over the day, i smile when i think of all of the magic tricks he shares with us...or the goofy jokes he tells over and over again. my heart literally feels full when i think about how he will always go to joaquin's defense when he is being reprimanded. i am filled with pride when ben tells joaquin "it's ok little joaquin-y. it was just a toy. i'm not mad at you" and gives him a hug after joaquin breaks one of his toys.

i love that ben loves music. i love how he openly talks with me about how he feels about things, and how he'll sometimes talk through notes on the piano. they're not masterpieces. some may even think his songs are 'messy', but when he presses those ivory keys trying to explain through song how his heart feels when he's in the mountains...i can't help but believe that there's someting extra special about that boy.

he may not ever grow up to be a musician, or a philospher, or known to many..but, i DO know one thing for certain....when he grows up...whomever he chooses to share the rest of his life with is the luckiest person on the planet.

when the day is through, all of the things that he did or didn't do that pissed me off seem so trivial. maybe it's God's way of preparing us for the new day ahead...remembering vividly and with fondness all of the wonderful things...and faintly recollecting those negative ones.

of course joaquin is just as beautiful as ben in his own way...but they each deserve their own little entries once in a while. :)
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(no subject) [Dec. 28th, 2007|09:27 am]
As I was looking for a photo of Ben with his little tiger, I came across this photo (sans little tiger). It almost made me lactate. Hah! Seriously...He "scrubbed, rubbed & sucked" like that up until just about a year ago. He stopped sucking completely last year, but if there's a material that feels just right...he'll rub it between his fingers still.

Ben always seems like such a little man to me, I sometimes forget he was just a snot-nosed little baby.

And him with my favorite jammies of all time! Ok..no more after this I swear. (for now)
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(no subject) [Dec. 28th, 2007|12:56 am]
Apparently, they really really wanted this racetrack and they didn't even know it.

"Mama? How does Santa know what to bring us? We didn't ask for this in our letter to him, and it's better than anything we could have dreamed of!"

Hahah. :) Thankfully, Santa found this at Costco and thought it was cool. ;)

The boys 1st thing Christmas morning.

The only items we actually purchased specifically for the boys was that slot car racetrack, a Cars sticker book, Cars Viewmaster discs, An eyeclops, books, puzzles & boggle.

*sigh* I really love my boys. Their snuggly pajamas, their big poofy hair, their soft cheeks, their huge hearts.

Note to self: Bookmark this entry to read when Joaquin is throwing himself on the floor because he's not getting his way and when Ben is screaming & crying running down the hall because a mosquito bit him.
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(no subject) [Dec. 27th, 2007|10:00 pm]
I'm not sure if I mentioned, but we somehow lost Ben's "Little Tiger" (his official name). Truth be told, I think I may have tossed him into the give-away bag accidentally. :( That was a hectic week...Joaquin's lice, painting, almost moving...I feel awful. He's had such a hard time with it.

He's had it since birth. He used to scrub the ribbon w/ one hand and suck his thumb with the other when he was a baby. He gets up at night and comes out w/ watery eyes and tells me how much he misses little tiger. How he "used to talk to him at night". How he "knows all my secrets". It's heartbreaking. He says that a new one just wouldn't be the same. God, it's awful. He says he thinks he's ready though to find something new..but "it will take a lot of snuggling so it will smell right". My eyes are tearing up right now thinking of him & his sweet little heart.

He was so excited for the Christmas party we hosted with our friends. He had all of these grand plans to do crafts. He got all the stickers, cutters, papers & glue ready. When the boys got here though, they didn't want anything to do with crafts. Ben was pretty hurt, he came up to me & sat on my lap and whispered..."noone wants to do crafts with me and they just keep ignoring me when I show them all the cool stuff I got out". They all ended up playing outside with the snow and that was the last I heard of it for the night.

I thought he had forgotten about it, but just today he came into the kitchen while I was making breakfast and said with tears welled up in his eyes..."I guess some kids just don't like the same things as I do...like crafts and stuff". I swear this kid just tugs at me. I mean on one hand, he is like...typical boy. VERY VERY outdoorsy...creating boobie traps...playing in mud...and on the other hand, he loves his music, crafting, cries much more frequently than the "typical" boy...and is has the most tender heart of anyone I know.

I fear that this dichotomy of his personality will lead him to heartache...never quite fitting in. It's such a fine line trying to raise unique children without them being outcasts.
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(no subject) [Dec. 26th, 2007|11:40 pm]
i bought steve & the boys the complete box set of all 7 seasons of MacGyver. Ben didn't know what to expect, and Steve told him "It's like a mix between Survivorman, Mythbusters & Crash,Bang Splat". Ben was hooked after just hearing that.

So, the boys and I sat down today and watched an episode. They LOVED it. They couldn't stop talking about how cool MacGyver is.

Fastforward to this evening after we tucked them in bed. We heard rustling, and talking and when it finally quieted down we went into check on them. I wish I had my camera.

So, I'm walking down the dark hall and I keep stepping on things. I realized that they had laid marbles all the way down the hall. Then, when I opened their bedroom door ( as I'm laughing almost outloud about the damn marbles), the hallway closet cabinet behind me hits me in the ass! The little buttheads tied a string to their doorknob and attached it to the handle on the cabinet....so as their door opens, so does the cabinet.

OH MY GAWD. Seriously...we have created monsters. :)
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(no subject) [Dec. 26th, 2007|04:24 pm]
Christmas has been a crazy whirlwind of family, friends and fun. We made sure to fit in quiet family time between all the parties & gifts. I can't seem to find my camera now though. I'm hoping it's at my parent's house still.

photos & days pastCollapse )
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(no subject) [Dec. 19th, 2007|02:31 pm]
remember that scene from mommy dearest where christina doesn't like her dinner, and her mom doesn't let her leave the table 'til she finishes it? and of course christina doesn't finish her meal, only to find it still there waiting for her...cold...for breakfast when she wakes up in the morning.

anyway, i'm sure there was another side to that story, because i have been known to tell my kids that what i've made for dinner is all they're getting...and if they dont' like it they can go to bed w/o eating. and i don't feel a fraction of the monster as she was made out to be. :P
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(no subject) [Dec. 19th, 2007|09:54 am]
ben's been playing christmas songs for us this morning. he likes to mix it up a bit and change the keys..usually to 'minor' keys. i actually like the way this version sounds a lot. he's very self-conscious when he makes a mistake though...you'll see what i mean. :)

anyway...he only knows 4 christmas songs...and no matter how many key changes he makes...you get tired of hearing the same songs over and over and over and over and...get the picture? hah.

right now, they're beating each other up with their 'sockem boppers'. they play like puppies. hahah no matter how docile and 'peaceful' we try to raise them, i'm really believing more and more that there IS something innately different between boys and girls. Dur.

i swear i'm living with 2 little animals. 2 days of being couped up because of rain is taking it's toll on them. they've got to let their energy out somehow i guess. i should be happy that they're using 'balloons' to beat on each other and are both laughing about it. though...it's all fun & games 'til someone shoots their eye out.
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(no subject) [Dec. 17th, 2007|04:42 pm]
hellooooo! i've been away for so long, i feel so disconnected with everyone. :(

i WILL catch up on what you all have been doing for the past 10 days. yikes! ok...at least i'll try to. help me out and point me out to anything huge that you know i need to know right now! :)

photos & fun surprisesCollapse )
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(no subject) [Dec. 8th, 2007|08:56 am]
i love woody allen films. i never got into the musical one w/ drew barrymore though. and that "scenes from a mall" or whatever w/ bette midler kinda sucked.

i also love diane keaton & diane wiest. they're beautiful women and awesome actresses. and i love love love diane keaton's style. :) it's like i can totally trust their choices in roles. just like tim robbins, kevin spacey & gary oldman.

i don't know why i thought of that.

anyway, steve took the boys to the snow this morning. i'm hoping to have time to start/finish christmas gifts i'm making. i'm happy to report that 85% (thereabouts) of the gifts to my friends and family are handmade. :)

we also REALLY scaled down this year w/ gifts for the boys. when i was preparing the home for sale (before i chickened out), i was just totally disgusted w/ how many "things" we have. i purged almost 1/2 of the boys playrooms as well as each of our closets.

for christmas gifts, i purchased lots of books at each of their school bookfairs (after they each went back to class), made a few capes & hats for their dress-up boxes, and got a few "adventure items" e. ben likes to call them...magnifying glasses, bug catcher stuff, nets and items to make their little bug habitats. oh! and some pretty high-quality walkieey have some cheapie ones, but they're not good for more than like 25 feet. the ones we got they can use when we go camping. they are going to flip over those! oh! and as family gifts i bought some puzzles & games we can all play like boggle (ben will love this...he loves word hunts) and monopoly. i'm preparing for those long winter nights where we'll be holed up in our cozy little house together.

when the boys get back from the mountains, we'll finish stuffing the stockings i made for the kids at the women's shelter my mom works at. she's a counselor there and boy...the stories she has to tell. the shelter is always full during the holidays. anyway, we'll finish up those stockings & deliver them tonight. joaquin decided to give them each one of his blocks in the stockings because blocks are his favorite thing. hahah it's sweet, but i can just see those kids wondering why they have 1 block in them. :)

ok...off to finish the gifties for their teachers.
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